Alesha Van Buren Oral History, 2023/04/14

Some of the things we discussed include:
Motherhood and breaking generational curses.
Lineage in Ghana, plantation farmers in the Carolinas.
Being raised Baptist, spiritual experiences as a young child.
Being a first generation college student.
Watching adult children come into their own spiritual awakening.
Mainstreaming of spirituality; a mass spiritual awakening.
Connecting with enlightened energy while sick with COVID; receiving healing energy.
Surviving COVID twice, long-COVID, holistic healing.
COVID as a cleansing.
Preparing to die; purpose in suffering.
People’s fears about the word “death”; working as a death doula.
Feminine power and making life, the importance of the womb.
Having worked in healthcare, family of nurses and healers and witch doctors.
Vibrational energy.
Connecting to the land, environmental destruction.
Scarcity and abundance mindsets; generosity; giving.
Taking one’s power back.
Balance: women/men; good/evil; fans/haters.
Bodies changing with age; intersections of sexism and ageism.
Listening to the body.
Losing work and workaholism.
COVID’s impact on the economy; adult children moving home.
Homeschooling.
Spiritual healers and stigma.
Social media.
Working with a client with Lyme disease.
Surrendering, letting go of control.
That “It’s okay to not be okay”.

April 14, 2023

Kit Heintzman

Alesha Van Buren

Kit Heintzman

English Biography

English Health & Wellness

English Healthcare

English Home & Family Life

English Online Learning

English Race & Ethnicity

English Religion

spiritual

holistic

death doula

feminine

healthcare

workaholic

children

ageism

aging

author

Black

Blackfoot

capitalism

Capricorn

coach

COVID+

death

diviner

doula

economy

empathy

energy

environment

fear

forgiveness

grief

hair

healer

Indigenous

love

Lyme disease

motherhood

occult

spirituality

trauma

vaccination

whipping

witch

woman

Black Voices

Religion

Motherhood

04/28/2023

10/18/2023

10/19/2023

04/14/2023

Kit Heintzman

Alesha Van Buren

Brooklyn

New York

United States of America

Video

English

01:41:50

Motherhood and breaking generational curses. Lineage in Ghana, plantation farmers in the Carolinas. Being raised Baptist, spiritual experiences as a young child. Being a first generation college student. Watching adult children come into their own spiritual awakening. Mainstreaming of spirituality; a mass spiritual awakening. Connecting with enlightened energy while sick with COVID; receiving healing energy. Surviving COVID twice, long-COVID, holistic healing. COVID as a cleansing. Preparing to die; purpose in suffering. People’s fears about the word “death”; working as a death doula. Feminine power and making life, the importance of the womb. Having worked in healthcare, family of nurses and healers and witch doctors. Vibrational energy. Connecting to the land, environmental destruction. Scarcity and abundance mindsets; generosity; giving. Taking one’s power back. Balance: women/men; good/evil; fans/haters. Bodies changing with age; intersections of sexism and ageism. Listening to the body. Losing work and workaholism. COVID’s impact on the economy; adult children moving home. Homeschooling. Spiritual healers and stigma. Social media. Working with a client with Lyme disease. Surrendering, letting go of control. That “It’s okay to not be okay”.

Kit Heintzman 00:00
Good morning, would you please state your name and the date and your location?

Alesha Van Buren 00:07
Absolutely. Good morning everyone. My name is Alesha Lynette Van Buren. I am 53 years old and I currently live in Brooklyn, New York City in the United States. I'm so glad to be here with you. Proud to be chosen to speak and give my history of life and experience at this moment. Thank you.

Kit Heintzman 00:35
Thank you. And what's today's date?

Alesha Van Buren 00:38
Today is Friday, April 14 2023.

Kit Heintzman 00:44
That's right.

Alesha Van Buren 00:44
It's spring!

Kit Heintzman 00:49
And do you consent to having this interview recorded, digitally uploaded and publicly released under a Creative Commons license attribution noncommercial sharealike?

Alesha Van Buren 00:58
Absolutely yes, I do. Yes, I do.

Kit Heintzman 01:02
Thank you so much. Would you just start by introducing yourself to anyone who might find themselves listening? What would you want them to know about you?

Alesha Van Buren 01:09
Well, the most important things are, I am a spiritual healer. I am. For those of you who are not familiar with the term diviner, I am a cartermis so I read tarot. I am an oracle who is also available to read tarot but I haven't [inaudible] I consider myself a profitis I do follow the occult. It is my preference of study. As far as spirituality. I was raised in a very structural Baptist religion. Growing into my elder older years, coming into self discovery, I realized that that no longer fit the lifestyle that I wanted to live, the person I wanted to be, I wanted to be free. I didn't want to be in a closed practice with rules and laws. So I discovered myself, and what was most more gravitated to me and the occult, just happen to be where I landed. I am a mother of three beautiful children. I have a son 25 Elijah, I have a daughter 22. Her name is Jemina. And I have a daughter 17. Her name is Alasia. And they are the garden of my life, my joy, my motivation, my inspiration to be my best self, to be a good role model as a parent, to be an advocate of young people's rights and giving them a voice to grow in a comfortable, free space to be heard and not only seen, which was a model that I was raising. Children were meant to be seen not to be heard. I am breaking generational curses, and allowing my children the space to become productive parts of a community that embraces and supports their independence. Well, I am a sister, I'm middle sister of three. My parents, both in their 80s are still alive and well. My sisters are still alive and well too. I have a family support system. I have a long family were originally located in Northern Carolina, currently in the United States, but our roots are in Ghana, in Africa. And my mother is a Blackfoot Native American descent. So I have a long lineage of spirituality. Deep, but I have to say original authentic spirituality from many moons ago. I practice ancestral veneration strongly, I'm strongly connected to the ancestor realm. I teach others how to connect how to heal from past trauma. I am a graduate with a bachelor's degree in psychology. I also have a CASAC. So I am certified in drug and alcohol substance abuse counseling. I've worked with ACS and foster care. I've worked as an advocate for home care workers who need a higher wages. I'm not afraid to hit streets for a cause as I'm all about elevating people, and raising the vibrational energy of life itself to create a bubble of peace and love back into the planet at a time where love is kind of low on the priority list of achievements. And unfortunately, this is mostly about finance and financial gain. I've lived in California, New Jersey, so I've traveled and placed my feet in many different states in the United States, but I have not left the country I am looking forward to, in the best half of my years, finally reached out of being free by children or young adults. So I'm now coming into, it's about me. So I'm looking for what makes me fulfilled happier, abroad. Um, let me see things that I like I love Fine Arts, love music. I'm a former professional dancer. So I love to dance. My children are very artistic. My son plays a guitar and they're all self made. I have a daughter, my youngest sings beautifully. We call her the song bird of the family. My middle daughter is very artistically creative with our hands. So were rounded household with a lot of energetic personalities. So yeah, that's just a little bit about me. I am, I am a vegan. That's very important. So I'm a big advocate of holistic wellness, far as mind, body and soul, not just treating weight gain or weight loss by treating the core center of the issue which is normally derived in the mind, or the heart. Usually, we have emotional attachments, or trauma bonds from adolescent issues that have remained in our adult years, I teach people to reach back to find solutions before they move ahead. To find solutions, it's important to know who we are what we're grounded in. And that begins on how we were raised, where we were raised and who raised us. The environment, which we came up in is more important actually, than where we're looking to go. Because showing up somewhere not prepared and not equipped, is actually a self fulfilling prophecy put it that way. So we need to know where we began, ancestors began the struggles of our lineage, the things we battled culturally, especially as women in this society being overlooked and overstep for major roles. Where we are, innately what I consider the womb man, we're all is created, all comes from we are it and we deserve to be acknowledged as though we create life, who nurture life, who grow life, as opposed to those who are just helped me to patriarchal society who deems us as you know, the workers, you know, they give us what they expect us to work with. And then we stop there. We're so afraid to break the ceiling, or cross the line, or question the higher authority, but it is time for women all over the world, of all colors, of all cultures, of all gender preferences, of all sexual preferences. I'm a big advocate of LGBTQ. I work for rights of all human beings, and to be human is not a condition. It's a rights that comes with the quality. If equality is a birthright, it's a spiritual inheritance that people seem to forget because when we're born, we're taught how to speak, how to walk, what to eat. We're given the menu, the map and the agenda. As soon as we pop out the womb, we don't ask questions because we're told we're not allowed to. We're not educated enough to, whatever the reason is, we start off with a sense of a need to belong to something. I'm one not that I belong because I am something or someone. And I like to start with young people first. I love working with old people. I work in geriatrics in the hospital. I've been in healthcare, and humanitarian all my life, I come from a long line of nurses in my family and root workers conjurers, herbalists, witches, witch doctors that taboo term has been given to me, and I'm no longer willing to keep it a secret. There's so many out there that could benefit in other ways that could elevate you from the inside out, as opposed to working on the outside in we're so, so consumed with our appearance, and how we show up looking and behaving, to be accepted, to be valued for confirmation of what we bring to the table.

Alesha Van Buren 11:21
But women need to understand that we are the table. We are the table ladies. We provide, we nurture, we care, we forgive, unapologetically, unconditionally, it starts with the children. You know, motherhood is something that we're taught, we should aspire to be. We're here to give birth, we're here to have children. We're here to breed, like an animal, like a tool. But the fact is, we're here to create, to water, to nurture to empower. And if there isn't a role available to doing, I want to leave and kick the door in and make our own space. We need to get back to days where we're not afraid to seek the top. The bottom is easier to work with is comfortable. It doesn't ask for much. But the top is where it's at. There's the ultimate level of being is when you find the top of yourself your highest story, the one that will never stray you take you down the wrong path, the one that you should trust the most, that inner horse that gut feeling that says no, yes, maybe wrong color, wrong calories. Wrong piece of cake. Let's get some vegetables and drink some water. Society tells us why make choices when the television social media, you know, low vibrational energies, karmic connections, distractions, anything else is there to tell you, I've already written it for you just follow this. Everyone else is easy. Go with the masses, you know, you'll never be alone. But it's such a lonely world to exist. And just a society of millions and you don't have a voice to speak, you're not included. You're not seen not support. You're absent, drowning, disappearing. And life is shortened when we're not given a space to belong. So that is pretty much pretty much when I made up the stuff I aspired to do for others. From a small child. There were spiritual, mystical, magical things going on in my small box. I spent I was that child that like to be alone. Like to play with things like to try new things. Love being out in nature. Love to connect, love to talk to the trees, love to speak to butterflies, the flowers, the colors, everything outside of me that no one else seems to be paying attention to spoke to me, including dark energies as some people who will say dark magic. I gravitated to things that others were afraid of. I loved horror movies. I love thrillers, from eight years old, you know, everybody was running afraid, but I was energized me like wow, what goes on in the dark when don't see, you know, our eyes are open, but so we still should be able to see so I can't leave looking for stuff in places that wouldn't allow me in. The challenge was exciting for me. Of course, my family thought I was possessed, too different, too out spoken to out there, always looking for attention, just too much. So I was taken to spiritualist to Santerias, botanicals, anybody they thought to help them with something they couldn't understand. This child is going down a dark road and we're afraid of her future is if my future belongs to anyone else, but me. And even I knew that from a young child. So I delved into reading about demonic spirits and the occult and witchcraft and I loved cards, and I loved playing with dirt, and I collected funny rocks, and Sticks and Bones. And, and I am a Capricorn, I am an earth sign. That's my sun sign. My moon sign is Pisces, highly intuitive highly connected to spirit, highly emotional, I was empathic. So that small child also needs to constantly fix other people's problems, sooth other people's booboos you know, what's wrong? What's the matter? I will notice people from afar, just sitting in the corner, but I can feel their sadness. And I can feel that anxiety. And I can feel the need to be heard. And it made me there were times I just started crying for and didn't understand why. And then as I grew older, I kind of caught the eye and attraction to people of coming minded ideas in college. And in lectures, I attended events or and then I said, You know what, this feels more comfortable. This feels like home. There's something here for me, they see me, they want to know me. Then I ran to some elder witches and said, Did you know you have gifts? And at that time, you know, gift I was like, no one's ever bought me a gift, what do you mean? It means like, no [inaudible] gifts. And you know, you lay your hand on me and I could feel this electricity. Or, you know, we sat we prayed together, we held hands. And the next day, my headache was gone on my wound started healing. And I was like, Okay, well wait a minute. I didn’t know if I wanted that much responsibility over somebody's life, or, you know, but then I said, Okay, spirit, and I call God, Spirit divine, the highest. Because I truly believe that no matter what religion you and I have researched, and is educated in many religions, Christianity, Cathliticism, Buddhists, Hindu. I was a Muslim for a while Musima, which is now [inaudible]. I found Judaism, Islam, I just took in this stuff like it was food. I love to read. I have books on Amazon, I write poetry. I've created oracle and tarot decks. I have a website, I have my own YouTube channel where I influence a motivating heal and try to attract. There is a lost world out there that sits among us every day and embodies 1,000s of spirits that are afraid to come to the forefront that constantly sit in the background. Don't feel don't feel fulfilled or have a purpose or they can't find their reason for living. And this brings on depression. It brings on grief, feelings of loss when you have even lost anyone, but you haven’t found yourself. That is a loss. It's the biggest loss one can have as loss of who yourself is. We teach in spirituality, the number one. I don't want to say law commandment is to know thyself. There is nothing more important than knowing who you are and why you are here. I am a certified death doula. I have taken the title of soul midwife, because people are afraid of the term death. And they gravitate more to terms like soul and midwife. So I am a certified death doula, I usherin the light at the end, for people who are looking to cross over in the most peaceful, harmonious, loving, fearless environment that can be had.

Alesha Van Buren 21:14
Work with things like, are you comfortable while you're passing? Most of my clients are in hospice situations, there is no medical diagnosis for healing or living long death is eminent. There are so many things that people are not prepared for. A lot of times your diagnosis is surprise you once a doctor because you got a lump or bump or whatever. And you come out, you know, you've got six months one year to live and. It can catapult you into a state of a catatonic state of fear. Oh my god, what about my children? What about my finances? What about my family and I'm not prepared and I have to sell this. I have to, you know, do away with this. I teach beloved's you're not taking any of it. They're not taking any of it. What you aren't taking the memories of the heart. The burdens that are left in the mind. And the food that you feed that’s nourished the soul. That is the only thing that you get to take with you along the way. And that is weighed. Your heart needs to be light as a feather. When you are received with approaching the light, light is a feather. It's almost like you need to float in, you need to be able to be held in and no one wants to carry dead weight. Hello, even spirit don't want to carry their weight, you know, a heavy burden the soul that is hiding because they don't want to go or you know, crying because your whole family is around you at the end. But everybody's crying. They're already mourning you. But you're still conscious. That right there is the most debilitating, destructive behavior that a family can give to a loved one needing to release. But human beings are selfish. We see death as I'm losing that person. What am I losing the benefit of having them in my life. So it's a selfish thing. The ego says, I'm going to miss you. Because I can't call you and stalk to you everything about my problems. I'm going to miss you. Because when I'm living in scarcity, I can no longer call you for a handout. Mommy no longer call you to tell me how to live my life because I'm not growing enough or mature enough to be independent without you. Everyone at the end is in mourning of you because they're losing a benefit of you that they don't even realize it's not intentional. The love is real. But the love is misguided by ego and self gain. When the fact is you're gonna stay in the land of the living. Continuing to be blessed with the opportunity that life provides thriving, flourishing, being happy, joyful, in a marriage that human. This person is about to ascend into a life into a realm and We're what I call a second coming. They know nothing about. We know what life is, we live it every day we know what to expect. But walking into something you don’t expect, it needs to be honored, it needs to preparation must be completed. Because what we say as diviners, there is a coming again, life is energy, energy cannot be destroyed, energy never end is constantly moving. It is constantly returning, is constantly searching, to return. To live again, to love again, love is the ultimate reason we ascend. And while we returned, we returned because we want a better love, want to know more, we want to get it right. Once you explore the love, we didn't have a chance to receive for whatever reason. That is why we returned in return. To fulfill our need to love and be loved. And to do that you don't want to leave with bitterness, animosity, anger, vengeance, resentment, regret, remorse, you don't want to come back because the love you take is the initial love you return with. So if you don't leave with any love it's pretty hard. We call those people who are not able to cross over, because you can't cross over without love in the forefront. God is love you we have to meet spirit where it is. I meet people where they are. I don't push an agenda on people. I don't try to lead people in to some kind of practice, some kind of spirituality, some kind of lifestyle. I empower people to figure out what works for them. If you're in life, and it's miserable, you're unhappy. You're unfulfilled. Let's figure out why is it the people around you? Is it the job you go to every day? Is it you? Are you refusing to change? Are you refusing to accept reality? Are you living into delusion and fantasy, which you were told life is supposed to look like that house with that white picket fence and two and a half children. It's not reality in the world that we live in, in the economy we're in. That dream is a dream. But it's not one to be inspired to receive is one to receive based on rewards of the energy you simply put out into the universe. Some people say, Oh, I'm broke, I can't get a job. I can't find a lover. I can't find a mate. I can't, I can't. I can't. I can't. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. You are what you speak. Because what you speak is what you perceive. What you perceive is what you believe, you know, but where do you know this from? Are you going off something you were taught something you bought? Like a book with someone else's words that you're taking into your own life because you're afraid to live your own words, to write your own words, that you're afraid that no one is afraid of judgment. The biggest thing in this world that I find that people are afraid of, I call them devotees. I don't use the word clients. What I do is not a business. I don't do this for the money. I don't do this for the fame. I don't do this for accolades. I work for spirit. I work for God. I work for Mother, Father, Creator, because they are both genders into one body. Yes. Because there's no way that a Lord a creator could create both men and women in their own image. If they don't know what they look like. It must look like me. Hello, how do we know a girl comes out as a girl? We know what kind of person has so for the creator to create women and to give us a womb that creates life. Am I a book God is a woman. Mother is a creative on Earth. Women are the creator of all things. It begins here with me. I take A partner helped me a worker, a king, a protector, a suitor, we each have a purpose, we have independent space of each other. We both have roles that are important. And neither one should cross the other. But you should respect me that the creator of this womb that we live in this home.

Alesha Van Buren 30:26
I have met. And everything I give you, you multiply, you take it, you multiply it, but I give it to you with love. It is love when you receive it, it inspires you, it motivates you, it uplifts you, it builds you into a king, no matter what your agenda is, because feminists and their masculinity, fully balanced King status bosses, entrepreneurs, doers, act, action, kings, I have a King in my feminine energy, because I've taken my power that I've taken my ownership of who I am, without judgment, I am authentically walking in the space that Mother has created for me. In the third world experience, I am a spiritual being having a human experience. And there will be another and another and another. And I can't take this one too seriously. Get what I can give what I can equal reciprocity. That is justice, for all equal, if you can just do that. Happiness. Equality brings happiness equal. And I don't know why that term is so farse. Well, I don't know why we live in a patriarchal society. It is what it is. But I do believe that females are accountable for the lives we live, I am not weak, vulnerable. I am not shy, timid. Or I can see I'm not blind, I have limbs, I have moved anything, I don't have it because I haven't chose to get it. So it's a patriarchal society. But as women, as a whole, we've chosen to allow it to be and I will not step on the powers that be that are run by men to say that they are the ultimate hand. They are not. They have been given the right to do so freely. And then unlike if we want to rise up and throw riots and you know fight the power they be in. But it's all temporary. As soon as we get a little small morsel of food, nourishment, sugar, candy, honey, I don't know, whatever you call they were satisfied. They all will these now things. We never stated finish to completion. Because we're tired. We're beaten. Most of us are bruised and broken, were held down were kept in place where the highest population to receive domestic violence. And I will say STDs and we're trusting overly in where but it's part of why innate ability because we're women, feminine. And no matter what your sexual preference is what you call yourself what your gender role is. Innately, you have a womb, there is some femininity in the you cannot forget, overlooked. Give away, refuse to see your whole you are innately and that seed needs to be cultivated researched, is the balance something is there for need. And it's not just have children. There are plenty of women who cannot have children who do not want to be mothers in this world. And I can understand why. But you cannot refuse to see who God innately sent you back here to be regardless of what you chose, or what you choose. You must honor that part of you and why you have Have it and you have it because you're here to do what women are here to do. And we're here to empower. We're here to nurture, we're to govern. We had to lead, we had to Morfitt. We're here to forgive and teach forgiveness, with the ultimate unconditional community. Model is unconditional love, wives, unconditional. I can't tell you how many clients as opposed to man, the females who said relationships way too long. Give way too much. Don't expect someone to speak. As opposed to the man who loved life, they're given whether or not they've earned it, or deserve it, or are useful in it. We have to as women, we have to stop being afraid of life we see in front of us. And fear more to life, we refuse to see that we were given because to be afraid of a power higher than yourself, the Ultimate Creator of you. And all you aspire to be your wish fulfillment is in the hands of a divine source. Not a man that pays the bills that brings home a paycheck, sometimes a lot less than yours. I'm finding for our women, we Boston up with brick and wood industries. I prepare tax preparer, seasonally, I'm a certified on the Republic, I do accounting. If you put it down in front of me and give me give me a few days, I will master it and I will do it. Well. I absorb and I know how to give feedback, honestly, without being considered judging. And that's important. people gravitate toward people, especially spiritual healers, who do not come off as judgey do not come off as Oh, we do go into hell. If you don't stop what you're doing with this and the other fornication and sitting in and drinking and you're going to hell with the devil is let me say the goddess in me the devil in me. They are both part of me. We are one the devil is an energy the devil is a spirit. So are we so it's the divine to worse. So the devil is what you perceive it to be the devil is what you perceive it to do. How you perceive it to live. What does it look like? Cuz I've been in films and pictures. I don't I never who when did that lack you don't wake up in the morning he's sitting in the wrong it's an energy is toxicity is karmic ties and connection trauma to codependency. It looks like addiction. It looks low vibrational energy, things that you know, this you should not be doing. The other shit needs to tell you that you shouldn't be doing because you're feeling when you do it. In my field. Well for the moment, when it's over. How do you feel? You regret it? You feel shameful? Guilt small. Why did I do that? Why do I eat that? Why am I engaging with these people? Why am I doing these acts? Why am I using these drugs? Why? Why am I not honoring my temple? This is the only body I had. Life is short for many of us, because views honor our temple as a sacred place. We don't feed it well. We don't live well. We don't breathe well. We don't sit with well minded individuals so far has gone to hell. I've been there and back several times. I've been in horrible marriages. I've been broke. I've been in poverty. I've been in grief loss, sadness, depression, anxiety, addiction as far as codependency relationship because that is addictions. That isn't addictive behavior, either. And then all that being born up in. Now my mother and father are in their 80s. And they're still together married my grandparents on both sides, married, and long term relationships, that in the old ages, farmers, my family are farmers still on plantations in North Carolina. And farmers, I come from people of the land, not afraid to get their hands dirty, not afraid to feed themselves grow for themselves, not afraid to barter with their neighbors share. They are healers. We have remedies from the soil from the earth root workers. We are people who in fights, others, I grew up in a house, my mother was constantly near what kids will always do my house, she was always feeding his own hungry. My father was that ice cream shop, there were kids that didn't have money, he would buy ice cream. I still do that to this day, I teach my kids to do that, you know, be aware of what you have. God gives you an ample supply to give.

Alesha Van Buren 41:23
God that gives you ample supply. It's so hard to be greedy or stingy. Because then a second way if there's no need for what you have, then why do you have it? You don't need it. God will take it back and give it to somebody who will use it. But with that being said, I seen the stress of trying to make a home a happy place. My parents were neither one of them went to college. My mother didn't finish high school. Sick as a child school wasn't a thing was 10 miles away from your home. Homeschooling was a thing because my grandparents weren't educated. Education was so important in my family, because we covered that which we believe we weren't given the opportunity to receive. But the opportunity is also within. I believe in homeschooling. I believe in teaching, I believe that education belongs first in the home when you when the child is small. But in order to do that, you have to feed your own mind the education that they need. So many parents are working their nine to five or nine to nine, five days a week, six days a week. They don't have time to read. We don't think it's important because that's a bill. We have to get a grant we have to get a loan, we have to do all these things. Because they make education so hard. When it should be the easiest thing on the planet. But it's so hard, you know, free college one year next year is offering you got 234 kids, maybe the first one goes, that's your prodigy, your especially your child, the breadwinner, you so always he's into that job. What about number three? Number four, number five, my father is one of 15 children on the farm. My mother one of five. The first one is a boss. They do the family videos every week. Every year, they organize, they have the home, they have the marriage, but all the system, married home children, all sons. I'm one of three bam the only daughter that has daughters. My two sisters only have sons. I gave birth to wounds. That's important to know. My purpose is different from there. I have females that will have children. My purpose is different. To me. It's hired to me it's important for the world that I make sure that these women that one day will become mothers and carry children's have what it takes are educated. Know what to do if their husband decides to go or they don't get a husband just for children. You know the plan is not was what we planned. Destiny is written before we return. People say oh that was fate that we met each other. I don't believe in fate. There is no such thing as a coincidence. Everything we walk into What is a life meant to be laid? Exactly how we live it? So, the wholeness, the addicts, the the molesters, the fornicators, the scammers, the greedy, the, the rulers, that rule with the iron hand and son of a gentle heart. There's a destiny for even these. And the destiny is that the earth must be balanced. Equally, you must have good and bad on both sides. Otherwise, what will be the purpose of anyone returning? If all goes well, and we live in the Garden of Eden forever? Imperfect peace and harmony? Why don't we come back? If we aren't, we could just save it. But there needs to be balance. Because life needs to be a lesson. Life teaches life is to supersede the ego. And that's to experience and we need to see the bad to know what the good looks like, what it feels like. The purpose of it the need for it. We need to want to grow it because we say oh was just so much better. Let me plant some seeds in that fertile soil. Bronwyn love more positivity. Because I don't like it. I'll be on the bad side. So I need to find a way to get rid of that. But we won't know don't know what the bad feels like. We don't know what that we won't know what to teach our children not to engage in. Not followed. If we don't know what that looks like. Because we haven't experienced it. There is a reason for growing up for becoming for aging. For white hair for Snow White purity that the Dawn's your crown. People dying there. They can't get grade. I can't get right. It's a blessing to wear a crown of silver. What? Purity innocence going back to the beginning is a baby with bold. Everyone thought you were the most delicious thing on the planet then. But now all of a sudden, you become a woman and you menopause. I'm currently Peri menopausal at 53 I still have my womb I'm still fertile. But with menopause come shedding and natural process of aging. And then all of a sudden that ball Bailey there My love is now ugly, not valued, not desired, not worthy to be shamed and ridiculed to be laughed at as being means on social media and jokes about a woman to elderly woman that aging woman that just enraged me and instantly I'm gonna lie and start writing. Can you call for me here I am.

Alesha Van Buren 48:17
The aging mother is unspeakably to find she is miraculous in her. I don't I don't find the words for the beauty Asti in a woman that has come to the aging process in which she embraces everything that she's going through. She's lost her hair. She's crazy balls. She rocks the Balti, proudly, unapologetically, she dons her crown with jewelry, or she makes that to her crown. she changes her wardrobe, she becomes elegant. She starts wearing robes, cloaks and gets rid of the patriarchal idea of what a woman should look like. You know, she doesn't feel a need to put on extra cakey makeup. You know, she may put on some lashes and give a cut her eyebrows and give herself some features. But for the most part, she's now queen. And as that hair shares, as she embraces it, as she stays high vibrational, she will see that it will be replaced by new strands and they will come in differently and then she has to lock her silver hair or she begins to let go naturally or she begins to shake the indifferent and out her crowd is when he has to say on exams, I don't know people look at these woman with these silver white crowns in the sunshine, they are majestic. You know, and the breasts are sagging. And the rump isn't as high as they used to be. And skin is aging and we have wrinkles and you don't, we're losing teeth and everything in the belly. In this all a beautiful part, coming back into knowing thyself, and loving myself. It's a test. I want to take you to a tonal change of how you look. And that change of how you look is one of these not normally accepted by society. How much strength and value do you have within yourself to love what I'm about to show you? It's a choice. No one else gets to choose the mirror that I look into every day. The only resemblance I see in the mirror is me looking back. I have a colleague that I talked to her accent her affirmations of love are built her doing today, beloved, I see you beautiful. Today is going to be a beautiful day. We call to love one each other. We're going to uplift each other. You want that ice cream. So again, five pounds. Go Gary girl, have it. Life is too short to go without things that you find. Ashley, desirable, insatiable. Those things we need to gravitate to when we age. Ladies allow when you lose that sexual desire or menopause and you're going through all these changes. You have to replace them with other things that drive your passion. Drive your desire. You don't want to have sex. So why you probably had enough already. And you're over it. So what now what you love? Do you love going to the beach, going for walks you love pampering yourself getting massages, doing yoga, breath work. You love coaching, teaching? Do we have a life that needs to be shared? There are others out there new generations coming up that will go through exactly what the one before one throw. But this thing's seen differently in the eyes of new Papes. But it's exactly the same. I live generationally are exactly the same to each person. Because we live in poverty, the same sadness, the same grief, the same depth that cancer been around for forever. And it's the end it will still be here. Because there is a source big cure from that which brings in wealth and money. The axes are here to treat you to make you feel comfortable perceived wellness. If they held you they wouldn't have any patients. Where's the money gonna come from? The insurance company's got to be open. The pharmacies got to be open. That's a chain and you are the ultimate ASIC dividend. That's a kill yourself pays. It pays well. Being unhealthy pays, it pays well. You know what doesn't pay, knowing that self loving yourself holistic wellness, preparation, awareness, intuition, using your discernment, that guts. That is not a metaphor. The gut isn't a metaphor, that you walk into a room and everybody in the room instantly starts thinking negativity about you. And you don't know you will feel it. It will hit you like a boom you will start getting nauseous in your stomach and don't know why. All of a sudden your mouth walls up with time you don't know why you feel anxious and you don't know because you have now become the center of attention whether you want to or not. And everybody has to know how to be that center. Some people like being on the outside looking in and it's okay. We can't all be winners. We can't all be up here. We need balanced some half this down. Some have to stay in between. But we need elevators. We need true believers in the earth. even more than a physical place, we get to sleep, eat and exist, is thirst is a plant amongst others. But what makes it special is that we're here on it. We're not on Jupiter, we're not on Mars. We don't know if anyone is but we're not concerned. Daily, most of us are not. Astronomers, maybe. But daily, most of us are not concerned with the other planets. We're here on Earth, we need to understand why God put us on this one. Why guys, send us to this one. While we are here on this one, the most flush? exuberant, inspiring, abundant. opportunities here are limitless, regardless of whether people believe it or not. Opportunities on this planet, a limitless. Boundless, the answer, you can't even see the whole earth in one lifetime. Even if you flew by plane, chances are you're winning, while you're doing other things, limitless and boundless opportunity that people get to see less than 1% of in the lifetime. Why? Fear? Self Sabotage? Doubt. I'm gonna fail. I can't do what they do. That's not my calling. They do better than me. Because I'm always watching who's doing the better than me. Why? Why are you always watching who's better than you? No one can do it the way you do it. Even if they do it better. It's not what you do. Submit this, you worry about what you do, you can do that better than else. And that's the real goal. No one can do what you do better than you. Because you're the only one that can do it. Everything's about competition, conflict challenges. Bigger house than my neighbor a better car than my neighbor. That why you're not seeing your neighbor's house, you're not driving your neighbor's car. You don't own dad with kids. You're not doing anything and neighbors doing. So why are you trying to do what they're doing better than them? You can't even do what they do. Like they do it in the first place. You'll never do it better. Let's like you fail before you even try. Because you're failing at something they don't belong to you. You're trying something that don't belong to you. Why can't we stay in our own lane.

Alesha Van Buren 57:46
The roads have multiple lanes for reason. You don't go on a highway, one long road will move cars behind, that will slow it down. That is not operable. It's multiple lanes. So we can all come together. If we all have the same destination, how we get there is independently of one another. No one's driving in my car going at my speed. So they don't know what I'm going to do to get there. They're not what I'm thinking I might take a different turn. I go off the grid for a minute. I might change the music and my radio and inspire me to no one knows you're in your bubble. But we want to weave in and out. Beat them to that right like we wouldn't be the first one to get the Slow and steady wins the race. Long and steady wins every race and only fools rush in. They are not prepared. They are not prepared. They are impulsive, spontaneous, and mature. It's wasteful energy to constantly worry about another and what they're doing and how they're doing it. No one can do what you do. No one can do it better than you. No one has the gifts you ever given. You just don't understand you have gifts. While you're always looking at everybody else's. I wonder what they do because you don't know that you can do what you do. Because you don't even know why you're here. What you're here to do. It all begin.

Kit Heintzman 59:27
Would you

Alesha Van Buren 59:28
I'm sorry. I could tell forever. I’m sorry!

Kit Heintzman 59:33
Would you tell your story about your life during COVID-19?

Alesha Van Buren 59:37
Oh, yes. Before COVID I was working long term in the healthcare field. But healthcare field was one of the places where cuts were made. Me being a spiritualist and diviner, I didn't agree and I don't agree with the vaccination system I refuse and I will not. That's the end of that story. So I went on unemployment was granted and gifted to me. But I am a workaholic. I am a Capricorn energy, we are bosses in the spiritual realm, we are doers, we are achievers, we are master manifesters, Capricorns have a need to work too much until they wear themselves out. That was me. So, when I was all of a sudden told, youre not working, and we don't know for how long I was not in my realm anymore. And I realize that I have forgot to feed myself. I instantly fell into fear. I instantly digressed into that lifestyle. I taught others not to be in I was broken. I was lost. I was scared. I had children. I was a single mom, I was not married. Well, I was legally married, but not living with my partner. And I was like, oh my god, what am I going to do? I didn't want my children to see me not doing that I'm performing. I had given up my own self to others in judgment, and didn't even realize when that happened. My children, I want them to see me as a woman who could provide and now I have to rely on the government for employment. I had to rely on food stamps, which I did. You know, what is going on spirit I've been given for all these years. This is my reward. I became very bitter, and very resentful, and very upset with God. Like, this is not supposed to be the best half of my then I got COVID While indoors, because my children was still going to school and living. My oldest son was still doing him. COVID came in and I was like, Okay. This is really like the most. And it almost took me out. I don't believe in taking a lot of manmade medications. I did a lot of holistic wellness. That takes longer, which is why most don't want to go there because they want immediate relief and gratification. But it has long term effects. So I said okay, maybe this is my time to go. Maybe this is how I need to go. But maybe I need to use this. Because this is going rampant in the world at that point. 1000s were already gone. The numbers were going up. What I was watching wasn't giving me much hope. I'm getting better.

Kit Heintzman 01:03:17
Do you remember what year it was when you had COVID?

Alesha Van Buren 01:03:21
Um, 2020.

Kit Heintzman 01:03:22
It was 2020. Okay.

Alesha Van Buren 01:03:24
It was early 2020. Yes. And I And it seemed to go on forever. It seemed like no matter what I did, every time I felt better instantly, I felt bad. It was like I was fighting this thing I couldn't even see. So it's like the fight when he was there to me. Like, you know, so instead of and then the financial strains came, unemployment was less than what I was used to bring in. I started going into debt, the credit cards, then the harassment, the phone calls the mail, they pretty much was knocking down the door, and I couldn't squeeze anything out of a stone I was dry. No one wants to hear what's going on with you. Because it's going on everywhere else in the world and my situation wasnt special, I had to realize you're not special right now and your spirituality aint gonna do it right now. As far as being seen as needing extra help. So I felt real depression. I saw it as real loss of self. And I didn't have anyone to go to. I didn't want to put it on my kids who were watching me and I can see the sadness in me. By looking at them. They were become withdrawn. And I was like okay, they are absorbing my energy. That is what I'm beginning to love. Like, and it was hurtful to watch them. I didn't have the energy to fix it. I couldn't even help myself. And being a spiritualist dealing in the Congo witchcraft, I had already shun the family had already shown me. The friends had already left, people feared me already. You know, and then you got those people that say, Oh, well, you're supposed to be all this and that, just snap their fingers and yourself, you know, those people, right. And so I was like, Okay, this is the vaults, we know, this is the ultimate test of my life. And I can either lay down and die, because I was ready. I'll be honest, I was ready to go. I had connected. I knew I was ready, if what it was, I was ready. I wasn't going to fight it. But I knew that there had to be a purpose in this suffering. So one night, when I could barely get off the bed in fever, and pain, locked in my room because I was staying away from my children. It's just me. So I said. Okay, if you die in this room, and the children can't come in to see you because I was told them do not approach. Who's going to know how long have you been here? And do you want them to find you this way? And that scared me more. More than fighting off this. I can't explain the fear that of my children walking in and finding me dead. And I hadve not prepared them for that. Because as a death doula, you work with the dying. My children were in the living. I didn't prepare them for that. And I was like, no, they deserve better. They deserve more. And I will not allow them to see this as my ending. And I fought everything I had. There were days that I cried all day, there were days that I ate nothing for days. I just, I opened my Bible. And my auntie that had passed away my grandmother, my closest ancestors that I knew were women, all women. And I almost thought, Okay, wait a minute, beloved women. I sat down, I open my Bible. And I started journaling and writing. And now most of it is illegible, I realized how much I was shaking at the time. I wasn't writing, I was scribing. It didn't matter what it looked like. I was connecting. One thing in my room. A mask energy of enlightened beings surrounding me. And instantly, I felt like everything was being lifted from my body. I remember a smile coming on my face, as his string down. And all I can remember seeing is you finally arrived. I know you're here, I can see you. And it was an out of body experience that I've never had in my entire life. And they will all don't enrobed I knew they were feminine energies. And I keep them say you have never been alone. We've we got you, you stronger than you know. And we want you to get up and stop living in fear. Your children are protected. Who out of this room, take a shower, take hit. And my children were here at the time. But I did all that while they were gone. And when I sat down on the bed, I was like, I can't believe I was able to take a shower without falling. And it was from that very moment that I've never felt that that presence has ever left. The Everlast light I immediately erected an altar in my bedroom. And I put their pictures and I feed and now I have multiple now my room was like a dagger shot. But I built in, they tell me what they need and I feed them and I protect them and I pray to them and we talk and we you know, have orbits in my room in light and a nighttime there are things going on. And my children see things walking around the house, and they're not afraid.

Alesha Van Buren 1:09:56
And that gave me confirmation that they're not afraid, theyre the purest of energies, and then not afraid. This is good. And then I started to bring them in. And now my baby, study some of these Terrell, and she's diving into divination. And my son is in the spiritual awakening as we speak. And I can see the changes. And this is, was destiny COVID was the last tool needed to take me over into a place that I thought that I wasn't invited in, until I passed away. I thought I had to pass away. But it took me to that place while I was in the living. And it was whole confirmation on my purpose. Surely after, maybe a year after I opened up the YouTube channel, I started ordering my divination tools, and I got deeper into practicing reading. And I walked in. And as soon as I walked in, people started emailing and calling and sending money and, and I was like COVID was a cleansing COVID is a cleansing. But COVID is the whip that people have to understand that it may be painful. As a child, my parents, you know, I got a little bit there in there when I was really defined and knew better. Not enough to bleed, but enough to shake me up. It's the whip that the mother is using to beat her children and just say enough is enough. You will have purchased the land, destroy the Land, polluted the land, polluted the water, you're in this guy's war, the trees don't even grow into season, everything is off balance. And we don't know when winter is summer anymore when spring is. Everything is dark earth is so unaligned right now, with nature. Like I go to the ocean. It doesn't look like it's false. Look, it's brown. It's not translucent. It's, you know, I can smell it. Because now my sensitivity is heightened to everything. And I'm like, Look what we've done. And when do we think that a higher power is going to say, enough is enough? My children, I put you here in this garden of Eden, to live to love and peace and harmony. And I've supplied you the fruits, the vegetation, the land, the air, everything you need. And this is the this is how you say thank you. This is the gratitude you give. You don't pray you don't offerings. You don't speak you don't you don't love each other. You don't love itself. We can start there. When do people think that Mother Father God's gonna say enough is enough? Or do they not believe that there is a power but beyond them? Because this is such egotistical society that we believe what we say goes really well according to COVID, and cancer, and HIV and all these other diseases that we haven't found useful. We still believe Hello. We're not in control people. We're not the ultimate desire. We're not the ruler. We didn't create this life that we live in. We didn't create this world. But somehow we believed because we got a degree. And we got a good house and a good home and a good bank account. And we live in well, but no, you lead your little bubble. But outside your bubble is a whole world beyond what you earn charged up. Who do you think runs DAC. So COVID is a cleansing to me. And until the lesson and the message is received by the masses, the majority there's a spiritual war going on. There's an awakening happening. There is a high spiritual elevation going on across the country globally. And read about it. I see commercials showing different things. We don't have naked women sitting on cars now. Now we have families in the woods With a fire burning, don't look at the moon, we have caught on for long times to know where you're going with the sun and things are changing. There is a mass awakening, and I part of that collective body to let people know if we don't wake up, and we don't make the necessary changes, to bring love back to the agenda, the cleansing will continue. There will be famine, there will be floods, there will be disasters, there will be never ending disease, they will be the usual. And we will have no one to blame but ourselves. We like to say oh god, oh god, oh god. Oh god. Oh, God, what? God gave you a voice call God Now what you're gonna do with that was just use it to blame or to call on God. COVID We lost so many. And there are so many still grieving the losses in secrecy. There are so many they're walking around in fear. Even with the bands being lifted and things being lifted. I've seen people outside with double masks on you know, afraid to get next you in the store was people still living as if we're in the in the biggest part of it still afraid of death, afraid of dying, afraid of disease, afraid of afraid of what? You survived it. I had COVID twice. The first one almost took me out. The second was easier because I knew what to do and what to look for. That's how God gives you experiences. That first one may almost break you and may bruise you. But if you survive it, and it comes again, that first one is a stepping stone. It's like the bouncy and the bouncy gym. When it comes again, you can I know what it says, We playing dodgeball you ain't got. And that's how life is the progression of the experiences. You learn you and you use so that you don't experience those down. Those heavy laden, those disaster moments are not to be experienced wife shouldn't have to go through domestic violence and relationship more than once. You shouldn't have to go through you know, getting in cheating Lightship. Or you shouldn't have to go through extreme poverty more than once. If you get out of extreme poverty, you shouldn't have to go back. Something you didn't see something you didn't learn something. These are experiences that should teach you how to deal with it. If it comes again, you can become a self master, so you can maximize self. That's how important like self mastery, knowing thyself, loving, ascending awakening to the fifth dimension. One, the 3d is the spiritual consciousness that you walk in. You see someone will COVID I'm on the bus and train. So my cost esteem, everybody instantly gets up and moves away. I'm like, wow, it's an allergy season. Did we not forget what used to happen? Then somebody sneezes and automatically fear. The world is living in fear. When they don't understand that God goddess doesn't punish lessons or to punish you. They are to advance you, to teach you to elevate you, so you can finally grow up. We have so many adults are here walking as children never grown up. Codependency relationships, trauma bonding, looking for come up a place to stay a check they can level up from never grew up for whatever reason. I don't judge some reasons. No real pain. Your pain is real no matter what people say. If you see something nobody else sees, if used to what is real to you. So no judgment on why you haven't come in to where you should be. But if you're not blind and you can see if you can move if you can stand up. If you can breathe, if you can, if you're not mentally challenged and of sound mind, then what is your excuse? For why you are not fulfilled? Why are you not trying?

Alesha Van Buren 1:19:46
I'm depressed. Why you're depressed all I'm going to divorce. Oh, my parents passed away. All my children are not listening. Okay, but you're depressed about something going on with toenails that have nothing to do with you Your mom died today. Your children are drug addicts, you are not. This one is doing this. That has nothing to do with you. So you are doing an energy that belongs to someone else. That is a choice. So you are choosing to stay stuck. Because you seek attention. You think being Exxon. That's why you stay there. Because you like being there. You'd like being pampered and you'd like oh, what's a Mac? You love it? You love it. And that's why you choose to be there. Your mom and dad passed on she has extended you he is still in depression and mourning her why? Because you choose to cheat young even to everyday anymore. You don't know how to talk to you and connect him you're not feeling but you're sad and grieving her still. Because you're choosing to do so it gives you accolade it makes you feel good about you that you can mourn for others. Ally must be empathetic, I can move on for others. No, no, that's not what you are. You're in your that's considered a succubus energy. You have to feed off the misery or accolade of others to validate the fact that you have no personality, no purpose, no true self, no being. And that's okay. We can work with that. But you have to acknowledge who you are. My job is to help you move out of denial. help you understand those karmic lessons, more choices. You throw them in, for whatever reason, he was cute. He had plenty. You know, he stands in the way, whatever reason you chose him. And now he's not to be what you chose. But you're still choosing him. That says something about you, not him. That means that even when your choices are no longer looking like your choices, you will still accept them anyway. Why are your choices not worthy and valuable? Of more, or you are not worthy and valuable, have more and better. If you want this title for your original choice, no longer being and still you keep it around why? And then performing like it did. And then give them back to you. COVID is and will always be as long as the generations who went through it are still living and we have a few laughs It will always be a part of who we are. But it's to be used as a tool for education. And for acknowledgement. And for food is to serve as what we've done, where we are, where we need to go, what we need to do, in order to be who we should be as a whole. Because everything that affects my neighbor affects me. Everything that affects the men in the grocery store affects me if I walked in and we shared the same air, shipping space, same energies. I take that everywhere I go. Every experience I met with everyone is still part of me. You can't get away from people, less you live in a hole in the ground. And the man you have come off the air. We have to breathe. We have to stop thinking that we are not part of this collective body of humans. That we are individually moving but we are moving in sync with one energy. Air since one is the air I breathe only mine. There are brief somebody else just read it two minutes ago. We're sharing air that has something to say about what we intake in our bodies. Air is spirits is water. The water I drank is recycled. The same amount of water that's here on Earth today was here 1000 years ago. It evaporates and it comes back. It's a never ending cycle. We don't get new water for were no clouds absorb the rain to come back down again. But what I drank somebody else drank it an hour ago, 100 years ago 1000 years ago that's powerful. Don't can be Ascended Masters. I can be sharing water with the ascendant and being alien nations even for those who aspire to that. We are magical people. We are mystical people. We are limitless energy. I can have whatever I want whenever I want. However I want as much of it I want. It can't nobody telling me I can. That's how they that's how I teach my children as long as what you want, doesn't burden anyone else doesn't cost anyone else doesn't put anyone else in a bad place. Make sure things you want, are also considering others don't want to be rich. But don't care if your neighbor has to be poor for you to be rich. Oh, one hit the lotto. You know how many people in poverty just play the lotto. The homeless man on the corner found the dollar plays the lotto. You hit the lotto. Now you're rich at his expense. He's still in poverty now even less rich because he gave were the only dollar he had. But you refuse to go back and thank him. You still go back and get your views to go back and give gratitude for those that built your wealth. You didn't do that. You hit the lotto. Millions of people put their money in, or you lose and care what they lost for you to get rich. Now you have enough and you won't even give it back. A little army template. Spread the word. I won't saying. But we won't. COVID has left so many poverty and poverty. Depressed mental illness is going to rise. Households broke up, marriages ended. Children that used to live on their own had to come back home because they can't afford now to live with. Because COVID took away income resources, land opportunity. And we've got COVID has was closer than any other disease in this country ever has. I believe that because I've seen my friends and talk about how they children had to leave college and come back home, colleges closed down. People. I homeschool my last daughter for a year because school was an open thing God was educated to do. So. What if you're not have you thought of that? Many parents will homeschooling they couldn't even read. Kids now return to school, and they're set back a year or two. Because they will have home with parents who didn't educate them. Never thought they had to. We don't think about these things. Our children are more than just things we love and kiss and hug every day. We owe them more than just our thank you or I'm proud of you. But how are you showing that you are proud of them? Have been saying it COVID was meant to reunify the, this planet and the people. And still we are waiting for that to come together because fear is still prevalent. What can we do to erase that fear we can speak in forums like this, being given opportunities by people, especially as beautiful as yourself, you don't even understand. You don't even understand the purpose you are serving by offering people this forum and everybody's like, Oh, the first thing my child asked me is, are you getting paid for that? Now I expect that of a child because they're living in societies about money. But if my spiritual community can understand we don't do this for money will never even ask. And I did not open eviva Ask, oh is there pay because I've already been paid. I've been allowed to voice to speak, to sit in front of the masses to share, to heal, to teach to coach to lead. This is my ultimate purpose. I'm being rewarded right now. An area and wasting money cannot replace cannot pay cannot supersede and I thank you for the opportunity to do what I do best. In a place where I can be comfortable. Your energy is beautiful, is supportive, is accepting. So before I before I end this or finish up or conclude or wherever you're going. I give you a flowers while you are living queen.

Alesha Van Buren 1:29:47
You were selling a place and a table for people who use the not wanting to be heard. spiritual healers are on the list of the was to be feared those to be rejected those to be questioned, those to be hushed those to be gotten rid of up because we get friend we get ridiculed, we get cursed we get hexed we get mistreated, spoken and got the most especially on social media by people who have never met us can't see us don't know us don't care about us for no other reason is that equal energy of good and bad must exist. We need those energies to let God know. Are you really ready? Are you really committed? Will you pass this test of faith? How much can I use for are you useful in service to others? Are you easily overly sensitive and hurt your feelings first. So that's why they there we invite them in. I love my haters. I love my I love them, their fans to and devotees to, they may not even know why they there. They may not even know what they will put there. But I see them too. I have a need for them to I'm here for all and everyone I do not judge based on color, race, sexual preference, gender, if you can speak or type, if you can communicate either way, and I communicate energetically I have clients that cannot speak. One has, what is that she was bitten by like Lyme disease, she can ask me she can almost get outside, but we speak together. I help her we help each other. So they may not receive me when they first meet me. They may shame me hate me. But they keep coming back. And I'm just waiting for that moment to get in. And then we transmute, we transform, we rebuild, we evaluate. And that's those challenges I love because they test me and my resolve and my endurance imperative. So I, I have a need to work with those. There are many people, I still have some residual physical challenges that are left over by experiencing COVID There's some neurological issues, slurring my speech, I noticed. Um, I don't write as steadily as I used to. I have vertigo, which means I have moments where I stand up to them. And I know they're all co related. Because before that I had nothing. And that was my badge. I can see that that was my badge of survival. And I use that because I can see them myself and I can notice it and someone else. So instantly, I'd say Did you add to COVID? Are you a survivor? And then we can work on the holistic wellness needs to combat those herbal medication herbal tinctures, Rob meditation, Reiki, I'm a Reiki healer. There are other work you can do that can Natalie maybe not it's not totally reversible at this point. And that's okay. But it is more than manageable. And some days I don't even remember. Until then, you know, maybe I'll skip over where or forget something and then I'll be like, Okay, you're doing this take, stop what you're doing. Focus because it's going to take you more time now to figure it out than before. And that's okay. I'm older. I do the art slow down. Easier anyway. Yeah, so life will slow you COVID Slow down a lot. almost stopped it completely. Life as we know it stood still. Silent. Quiet. Dark. It was the energy was so quiet. That it was so loud to me. How quiet it was. It was eerie. There were days outside when we were locked down where I need to see a bird. A squirrel a bee sounds like wow the people inside so the animals have No need to be outside, they've gone elsewhere. Other places where they can thrive, they can flourish, somebody needs to feed them, we're not outside, throw down break homes, they have to go where they can be taken care of. We do that. It was a dark, time to look out the window, and just see no cars on the road and no movement. And, you know, it seemed to even be like there was no wind, the trees weren't even moving. I was like, there's so much to be gained. In this stillness. There is so much to be heard, in this stillness. See it for what it is, is, and it's not a moment of depletion. It's an opportunity for completion. If you just stop, embrace the silence, my clairvoyance and my Claire audience, my ability to hear and to see, spirit increased massively, because there was no movement around me. And for the first time that I realized why it took me so long to find this journey, because I was too busy moving, working, living, stressing, crying, complaining, wishing I forgot the greatness in the silence of a child, being alone in the dark with their play, imaginary friend, building, listening and what they were telling me they wanted me to do. And how did you do that? Oh, they helped me and now you're bringing all the two cats in. I went through all that. And I love that freedom. I have forgot what it felt like to be free. And not obligated to anyone else or anything else. But me. Not just children. napavine not my parents, not my sisters, not my nephews, not the landlord. I couldn't work. He had to get whatever I got. I couldn't, you know, eat fast food every day. So I had to learn and go back to holistic ways I'm came a vegan. Everything was met, to put me in perfect alignment and balanced. All I had to do with surrender. Surrender to the unknown. Surrender to the unknown. Knowing that the unknown is a divine energy. They put me here, put me here to live into five would not abused me and mistreat me and watch me struggle. Otherwise they wouldn't put me here. So if I surrender to that, and allow that to leave, and to guide and to reward and to me everything I needed to sustain me, maybe I should try that just punts back, I try that just wants and see that I could really weigh my pros and cons. I sat down. I went in solitude hermit mode. I didn't answer the phone. I didn't go on social media. I closed down Facebook, Instagram, I stopped watching the news into depth information. Oh my god, you know, the worst comments, man, when I know wasn't, you know, I got rid of all that stinking thinking and opened myself up to visions beyond what I could actually see. And I got a new spice of life. And as I can't help share it, like it's so powerful, so beautiful, you're wanting you're gonna get it. Like I want to shove it down people's throats, you know, I just can't see people suffering. There is a way out of every way. You just have to believe there is and wait. It will come it will come maybe not exactly when you want it. But it shows up right on time. Every time. So that’s it.

Kit Heintzman 1:39:32
I want to thank you so so much for the generosity of your time and the beauty and wisdom in your answers. I just want to, I know you have to run I also want to open some space

Alesha Van Buren 1:39:45
I know

Kit Heintzman 1:39:32
Anything you want to say that there hasn't been room for please just


Alesha Van Buren 1:39:50
I just want people to understand that it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to take your time. and not know all the answers is okay. It's looked at something different than what you were taught to see if something else would work better than we are. Okay? To live to love, you deserve a good life a happy life. Health, wealth, wealth and health, glory. We will be healthy. It is your biggest asset. So long, don't give up. Don't give in. We really have no choice. Do you really be the best you can be. Be the best you can be with others. It's a win win. What you give is what you receive. Absolutely. Thank you. For this precious moment. I am humbled and grateful for this opportunity. I hope to heal others, some motivate, to inspire others, to move, to move to grow, to trust in Thys elves. And stop looking for the answers that come from inside of you. You were born with them. You have them. Find the old horse to find them. They are your treasure chests. The gold at the end of the rainbow you are enough and complete exactly how you made beautifully designed no matter what you do. No matter where you go. No matter what you choose to be and how you choose to show up. Put love First, you'll always