My mom worked in a nursing home. For a while, she did her job and came home with gloves and disinfectant. We all kept distance in our small home. One day, she came home with COVID-19. Burnt out by incompetent managers, menopause, and long-standing mental issues, they became tenfold. They all consumed her while she was sick. When she recovered from COVID-19, everything else stayed. She was severely mentally fragile. She would cry every day and wanted to be in the same room with everyone, all the time. She could not be left alone for months. My father did not remain compassionate and sympathetic. My sister struggled to be my mom's friend. I used all my energy to keep her head above tears. The emotional toll on everyone in my family was the worst we have have ever faced. We all struggled to help her. She eventually recovered and not goes on walks everyday, by herself.

Beginning of 2021, my sister went into the hospital to give birth. In this time, COVID was at an all-time high, when everyone was afraid to leave their own home. Three days after she has given birth, she left the hospital. A few days later, she started feeling really under the weather. She thought it was postpartum pains but got tested just in case. Turns out she had contracted COVID from the hospital in the time she was giving birth. The pandemic was around, and no one was able to get away from it. As careful as you were, you never know what is going to happen. Just do your best. That is what my sisters story tells me about the pandemic.

Today is April 16th, 2020. Instead of waking my mom up with breakfast in bed, she sends me a photo of herself layered in protective gear. At the time my mother was working at one of the largest hospitals in Queens. She went from working four days a week to working six-seven days a week as the rates of COVID-19 hospitalizations increased. Today is her birthday and instead of celebrating life, she is surrounded by fear, death, and uncertainty. Thank you Mom for being strong and putting your life at risk as an essential worker. Happy Birthday

My project sought to examine and understand the historical resilience of Black motherhood and its relation to the life altering pandemic, COVID-19 and racially driven uprisings against systematic oppression; How Black motherhood and resistance through Black motherhood adapted, how it’s changed and what new radical resistance through motherhood was conjured in face of the pandemic and race clarity. As an autoethnographic account this research project was centered around my experience of motherhood and communal connections, as well as the experiences of Black mothers and birth workers. The political positioning of Black mothers was considered through essays and poetry written, as well as photos during the lockdowns in relation to the concepts of birth and death, the idea of radical mothering and activism, and the umbrella term of community.